Tuesday, May 7
My heart is heavy. I feel ashamed and guilty. If the law finds out, I could go to jail as a convicted felon. A convicted felon! I wish I had someone to talk to so I could get this burden off my chest.
But gosh knows my sinning was fun.
What a weekend! It was a rainy mess, so I stayed home and brewed another batch of my own peculiar style of homemade beer. I’m not quite sure if it’s a lager or an I.P.A. because it turns out different every time; I’m no master brewer heading to Boston to work for Sam Adams. I simply love to brew, just like my neighbor Steve loves to golf.
The difference is the state of Alabama says golfing is OK — but that I have committed a felony because it’s illegal to brew at home. To be honest, that makes me feel like a first cousin to dudes who cook up meth in their kitchen. As if.
It’s soooo Alabama, isn’t it? This state is the only one in America in which home brewing is still illegal. The only stinking one. It’s as if we live in some backwater place where people still think if you make a few bottles of beer at home each month that you’re automatically giving some to your 15-year-old nephew. Even Mississippi says it’s OK to brew a few beers at home. How embarrassing.
A few of my buddies still believe those jokers in the Legislature will finally pass this home-brewing law before they go home for the year. Yeah, right. Fool me once, fool me twice, or whatever they say. How many years has Montgomery skipped over or conveniently ignored a home-brew bill?
I’ll believe it when I see it.
In the meantime, I’m not sure what to do. Do I quit my hobby? I’m hurting no one. Do I stop making beer in my kitchen? I’m no criminal, and I do feel bad for doing something “illegal.” What if someone rats me out? I’ve watched those prison shows on TV, and I wouldn’t fare well there, if you know what I mean.
Until the Legislature brings Alabama into the 21st century, I suppose I have two choices — keep brewing illegally or stop brewing.
Guess which one I’ll pick.
A Guilty Conscience in Alabama